Madder Sky
by Izzu
Summary: Set during the Tokyo Arc. With Syaoran's unexpected appearance and the other Syaoran's departure, the situation had changed for the group of travellers. How would they move onwards from this point, in order to continue to pursue their wishes?
1. Mokona

Had been rereading xxxHolic and Tsubasa in between the times I wrote for my Geass and DBH fic, so yeah... more new stuff to write when I already had plenty of other wip to do. Ah well.

Tbh, I had some idea on what to title this short but I just can't find the word for it atm. So for now, it's Madder Sky. Since the track was playing when I decided to post this.

* * *

"Even your name is the same as Syaoran's, right?"

 _Syaoran_ could barely stop himself from letting out a surprised cry as the small white bunny-like creature spoke from his shoulder. He barely even noticed it hopping by and perching on his left shoulder.

 _But supposed it's because he himself... his mind has been preoccupied..._

"I heard you've been locked up alone all these time. You must've been sad."

He smiled weakly. Then again, he could feel Yuuko's power coming from this Mokona. Could it be... through this Mokona, Yuuko had also wanted to comfort him? Her feelings should have also reached this little one, shouldn't it? And Yuuko... had seemed like a kind person. From the time they first met long ago... as well as the time he saw her last before he was confined by Fei Wang Reed. She had protected _his other self_ from the man... and he had felt her gentle emotions coming from her at that time.

 _That gentleness that has also accompanied him throughout the years he's spent sleeping. And watching..._

 _Syaoran_ shook his head slightly. "No. Because I've been _watching_. All the things that my other self did. The journey together with the others."

"Even so, it's too sad!"

 _Syaoran_ let out a gasp, as Mokona continued talking, "Didn't you think that Mokona and the others had fun? There were painful things... and suffering too, but it must've looked really fun, right?"

 _Syaoran_ smiled weakly to himself. What a peculiar creature. Even when it barely _knew_ him— _the real him_ —Mokona would still care and worry...

But he was fine. He _have_ been fine. After all, everything that happened was by his own choice. And the confinement... even when that was not a pleasant thing, that was still the _price_ that he had to...

"—Surely you wanted to travel with us, right? With Sakura and Kurogane, Fay and Mokona. And Syaoran."

Immediately, he felt something pricked from inside of his heart. Why would—but of course. How could he ever _truly_ feel fine over it?

 _All these times, only able to watch them from a distance. Of wanting to lend a hand, but unable to reach out towards them. Being trapped inside your own body, yet your own heart vainly tried to reach out..._

 _Syaoran_ let out a sigh. "That's right," he said softly. "I'd like to..." he said again, holding the small Mokona closer to his face.

He _had_ been lonely. And his confinement had lasted for as long as the time he'd lived by himself in Clow Country. The loneliness that he experienced, had been twofold. The first for having to live apart, not being able to see his own parents anymore. The second was to see his life being mirrored and replayed through his other self and seeing Sakura again. Being aware of the inevitable fate that Sakura would have to face while he himself was unable to do anything else but waiting and watching.

 _Yet, as it stands right now... how would the paths lead them onwards?_

* * *

Heh. Just shows how fickle my muse could be. Reason why I don't really wanna accept any fic requests since my muse decides what I want to write when I wanna write it.


	2. Two Strangers

_"That emblem..."_

 _"It was the sigil of the person who killed your mother."_

Kurogane sneaked a few glances towards the 'kid' that's been standing alone by himself at the other corner of the building. Oh, wait, that white manjuu was with _him_ so _he's_ not actually _alone_.

He thought back at the time when they were still at the underground reservoir... or what's left of it now.

When the kid had first appeared out of nowhere, the sight of _them_ had startled him. Which was not surprising actually, seeing that with _his_ arrival there where _two_ Syaorans standing before him. And gradually, he could sense something from the kid.

Like the Syaoran that he knew, this other _Syaoran_ had given off the presence of something that he's grown accustomed to. The aura of the old Syaoran that he's used to... yet this _Syaoran_ was a different person. Also, this _Syaoran_ could use magic... which was _different_ than how the other Syaoran had been, throughout their journey together. Since, besides the Kudans that they received when they arrived at the Hanshin Republic, the Syaoran that he _knew_ didn't appear to be able to use magic. Yet, this one did.

But one thing he's sure right now, that the two did indeed have something in common, besides their names and appearances. Which convinced him that the two were _connected_ to each other.

 _Their affinities with flame and flame magic._

But shouldn't that be expected? If the witch's words were to be trusted, _that Syaoran_ was supposed to be the 'original'... and the reason the other Syaoran had behaved similarly to _that_ kid in the past was due to the half of the soul the kid had sealed onto the other. So, would that mean that the traits that drew him to care about the other kid were because of THAT Syaoran?

 _The fake copy had left and the original came to replace the one who left_. Was that supposed to make him feel better about this situation?

 _Still, he couldn't help being wary of THIS Syaoran._

Kurogane could hear faint groans coming from his side, and the slight movement he made caused the white manjuu to hop over towards his direction. In that brief moment, Kurogane thought he saw the kid making small awkward gestures to himself. He frowned.

Kurogane turned around to check on Fay as the man sat up and smiled at him.

"Good morning... _Kurogane_."

He could immediately taste something bitter coming from the back of his throat. As if he didn't already have enough concerns to think about right now.

"Don't move."

The aggravating man spewed even more retorts to which he had no time to entertain. Kurogane threw one of the cloaks he was holding towards the man before picking up the other.

"I said don't move!" he spoke again before storming away.

He already had to deal with _one_ companion that had changed into someone else, who right now feel more of a _stranger_ to him. He didn't need that number to increase into _two_.


	3. Kurogane

Mokona left as he saw the small creature head towards the direction of the ninja and the magician. From the corner of his eyes, he thought he saw the man turn around. Fay... that magician, must have woken up.

 _"—Surely you wanted to travel with us, right? With Sakura and Kurogane, Fay and Mokona..."_

Just now, in answer to that question... he had answered yes. That he also wished that he'd be able to travel with those four. But in reality, would that ... even be possible for him? Syaoran felt his chest grew tight. Right now, regardless of the fact that he was the genuine person and that the false copy of him had left, to those four... the stranger would be _himself_.

He saw it all, from the very beginning. The bonds that have been created amongst those travellers, that relationship was with that _other him_. Even if half of his soul had been the reason for that relationship to happen, Syaoran had no illusion that those four would accept him so easily. Not when that other him has gone away in that horrid kind of manner.

 _Resuming the journey with those travellers ... might be hard. Would they still continue this journey?_

To be fair, at least Mokona has warmed up to him at the moment. But what of the others? What about that ninja... and that magician? That ninja, he could tell... that the man had cared a lot for the other him. Same as the magician. Would they... even allow him to continue being by their side?

 _Also... what about **that** Sakura?_

Something heavy was suddenly dropped on his back without warning. Syaoran glanced up as his heart suddenly ran cold.

It's the ninja. Kurogane-san.

xxx

"Wear this."

"Thanks."

Kurogane watch the boy silently while he observed the kid's reaction and movement. The kid— _this Syaoran_ —had gripped the cloak tightly around his body as if desperately wanting to cover the clothes he was wearing from view. The clothes, that was marked by that ghastly looking emblem. It dawned to him that it felt as if the evil emblem was still keeping the kid imprisoned.

 _As if... the kid was still not **free** from his captor's grasp..._

"It was not as if you were wearing _that_ on purpose,"

The kid had flinched slightly, there's no mistake in that observation. Somehow, it made him regret his earlier hostility against the kid earlier.

"Still, it was not something that I wanted to see,"

Suddenly, Kurogane felt his heart become drawn towards the kid. This kid... had looked so _vulnerable_ , in a way that was _different_ than the Syaoran that he knew. This kid... had been hurt by something that he didn't know. Something... that might be even _worse_ than what the other Syaoran had faced. Kurogane thought about the other Syaoran as he wondered about this one.

 _Just... what kind of experience had this kid been through all these times?_

It was then that Kurogane finally noticed that Syaoran had been bare-footed. _Ah!_

"The witch did say that you've been held captive by the one who wears that sigil."

"Yeah. But I have no idea in which dimension that was. Even if I knew, I don't have the magic to cross dimensions so I cannot take you there."

It was the same as what the witch has said earlier. Was there really no way for them to recover what they've lost?

"I'm sorry."

The kid immediately looked as if it was _his_ fault that _he_ couldn't do anything to help locate the evil mastermind. Kurugane bit his lips. Ah! His bad! He didn't intend to...

"You're not the one that was at fault."

The kid was looking at him with a surprised face. Was it that surprising for him to show kindness to the kid? Kurogane's face softened as staring at _Syaoran's_ face made him think about the other kid again.

"That kid..."

"He's not going to come back, isn't he?"


	4. Waiting and deciding

I wrote these few chapters mostly based on old fan translations of the manga tbh, and some of those lines I ended up rewriting since those lines don't quite read well. Might do another revision later based on Tokyo Revelations version.

Pity that FFnet no longer allow strike out effects to be used nowadays, so one certain line had a different formatting here compared to the version I posted on AO3.

* * *

 _"We have to decide before the princess comes back... what we're going to do from now on."_

Indeed they should, Syaoran admitted silently. Well, in his case he's already aware of what kind of action that he should take. After all, it was _his_ decision that started it all. So there was no turning back for him. No turning back but continue moving onwards.

 _But again, what about the others?_

Syaoran thought back to the first time all 'four' of them were gathered. Kurogane's wish was to get back to his own world. Fay... his wish was to not return to his own world...

He glanced back towards Kurogane as he recalled the man's earlier retort to Yuuko.

 _"I'll expect to hear more of this later..."_

Syaoran turned his attention towards Fay, who was seated some distance away and was now talking to Yuuko. At this point, Yuuko-san might decide to reveal to the others about Fei Wang Reed. That magician aside... he wondered what would Kurogane do once he heard about the truth? The princess too... come to think.

If the others knew of the things Fei Wang have done to achieve his wish, would they still continue the journey? Now that his other self has come under the man's control again, there's no doubt that his other self would continue doing what his creator had intended for him to do. Gathering Sakura's—the princess's feathers—at all costs. And also, Fei Wang would have still need to recover the princess.

Would the others still continue the journey _—_ even after knowing that they'd be playing into Fei Wang's hands to achieve that impossible wish? Or would they put a stop to this?

 _If the others chose the latter, what should he himself do then?_

Syaoran glanced back towards Kurogane.

"Have you decided?"

The man nodded.

"Yes. There were things that will stay the same and things that have changed..."

Syaoran remained silent. Just as he was about to ponder about the decision that Kurogane has made, another voice broke the stillness of the place.

"WHY DID YOU LET SAKURA GET THE PAYMENT BY HERSELF?"

Both of them turned around. And it seemed that Fay finally found out about the princess's decision.

xxx

"The princess wanted it that way."

"Is that why you did not stop her?"

His body immediately reacted before he could think. And many thoughts came to mind even as his mind rages at the things that happened while he was unconscious.

"Are you going to where the princess is?"

"What if I am?"

"Wait here."

A sudden burst of rage suddenly erupted from inside of him. Fay turned around.

"That child... she might not get back if she got hurt. You're aware of that, right? Was that why you didn't treat that back of yours?"

It was just a passing observation, he saw that the other _Syaoran's_ thigh injury has been treated. That injury was less severe from what he could see of Kurogane's injury. And being aware of the situation for the people currently living here...

"This country is low on medication. If Sakura got hurt when she gets back, you'd want to at least leave some medication for her."

That's it. Because that's the kind of thing that Kurogane would do. That man who tend to notice many things on his own that _he_ himself wished the man wouldn't, how could that man NOT be so thoughtful? As much as Kurogane claimed that he didn't care too much about others, in truth... that man was the most _caring_ of all _five_ of them.

But that's **why** he couldn't forgive the man for acting like this. Right now.

"What if that child wants to come back but couldn't? It's fine if she only got hurt. But if she loses her life, she can't come back anymore..."

 _[Like **Fay**. His other half.]_

"The princess knew this..."

"If you knew this why...?" Fay cried out, still frustrated at how Kurogane was behaving.

If he had looked back, he would have seen the pained look the man was wearing. But Fay wasn't looking. Kurogane took in another breath as he started to speak again.

"That is why... I promised the princess that I will wait. So I'm going to wait. Waiting is far more painful than going with her."


	5. Fay

The acid rain fell again as the two adults before him continue to argue. _Syaoran_ himself could barely feel the tiny droplets falling all around him, much less paid heed at the growing tingling he started to feel underneath his feet.

"Wait."

"If you stop me again, this will turn into a big fight."

Should he stop them? A part of him felt that he didn't have any rights to interfere. Yet, he could sense Mokona's alarm over this situation. And he knew that if the princess was to see those two fight it out, she would also be hurt. If she's the same as Sakura, that princess would've definitely be hurt.

Would it be all right for him to say anything right now? Or would his words be sounding insincere or be treated as if he was trying to speak as the Syaoran they knew? But then 'that' Syaoran, how much of himself had been inside that other him... and how much of that other Syaoran had of itself that was not him? He thought he knew for sure, thus his hope for that other him to gain its own soul. Yet that incident at the underground reservoir had proven him wrong...

 _But if he did nothing at all... he might end up regretting it._

 _Syaoran_ turned towards Fay's retreating figure as he spoke.

"If you go out to save her and get hurt, Sakura... no, _the princess_ will be more hurt. Her heart will hurt many more times inside, than if she herself get hurt. It's the same as you not wanting to see her get hurt."

The magician paused, before turning his attention towards him. _Syaoran_ maintained his gaze as he braced himself for whatever was to come.

xxx

Fay turned around towards Syaoran as the kid continued to speak. And he painfully noted the fact that _Syaoran's_ eyes remained as clear as the first time he set his eyes towards the other Syaoran.

 _Before that other Syaoran changed._

The eyes that had always been full of conviction, the eyes that had always hid the owner's pain and suffering. Behind those brown eyes that seemed to always be able stare deeply into your soul...

"The same. You really are the same. **Both** of you..."

 _Then again, this IS the original Syaoran. Whose half of his soul used to be sealed inside the Syaoran that he knew. How else would the kid behave?_

xxx

"It's Sakura!"

The three of them had rushed over the princess almost immediately, not even caring about the acid rain that kept pelting them. It was only after he got near enough to see the magician rush to the princess's side as she fell that _Syaoran_ realized what he himself had done.

Almost at the same time that realization hit him, the feeling of him not quite belonging amongst the four came back to his senses.

"I'm sorry. That I wasn't able to do anything when Fay had been in pain. Right now, the one who was suffering more is definitely Fay..."

Syaoran stopped himself, barely a few steps away from Fay and the princess. This distance was as far and as near as he could go.


End file.
